


So Much to Say

by Milionking



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Brendan just wants to help, Cabin Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27606517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milionking/pseuds/Milionking
Summary: Alex is pretty much done with hockey and also has had it with his dad and the barrage of "coaching" his dad feels he needs on a regular basis.  To get out of his head, there is only one person who can do it.
Relationships: Alex Galchenyuk/Brendan Gallagher
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	So Much to Say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kkane88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkane88/gifts).



> TRIGGER WARNING: I do portray Alex's father verbally berating Alex. This may or may not be happening in real life, this is fiction and I'm declaring artist license to characterize as I see fit. With that said, Alex's dad and Alex get in a pretty heated argument in the first scene. If that triggers you, please skip past it and enjoy the scene where Alex is mended.
> 
> This fic is inspired by all 19 Weekly Discord prompt challenges to date which are:  
> Prompt 1: “Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”  
> Prompt 2: "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"  
> Prompt 3: “You can hold my hand if you want.”  
> Prompt 4: "If you leave… I won't be here when you get back."  
> Prompt 5: "I’m in desperate need of a hug."  
> Prompt 6: "Why can't I be enough?"  
> Prompt 7: "You come to my room and wake me up at 4am to cuddle?"  
> Prompt 8: “You’re a coward! You hide away this entirely different part to yourself all because you’re afraid that someone might get close to you! You’re afraid that someone might just care about you more than you think you deserve. That isn’t fair.”  
> Prompt 9: “I didn’t tell you that I love you because I wanted to hear it back. I told you because I needed you to know.”  
> Prompt 10: "Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I confessed my love to."  
> Prompt 11: "If you ask me if I’m okay again, I’m going to smack myself in the face just to punish you."  
> Prompt 12: "You're so hot when you're mad."  
> Prompt 13: "You can't keep pretending it didn't happen because guess what? It did!"  
> Prompt 14: “You’re beautiful.” “And you’re concussed.”  
> Prompt 15: “Did it over occur to you that I never wanted this to begin with?”  
> Prompt 16: “I know I kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?”  
> Prompt 17: "I don't need, or want help. What I want is for you to get the fuck away from me."  
> Prompt 18: “He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.”  
> Prompt 19: "What would you do if I didn't come back?"/ "Would you miss me at all?"
> 
> Thank you Kkane88 for all these beautiful prompts and to Jules for the beta on my terrible grammar. Your hard work hasn't gone unnoticed.

Alex knew he was in trouble this time in free agency. With a poor showing in the bubble, the Wild announced that they were not renewing his contract. He knew then the burnout was real, and his father is the one to blame. He left the bubble as quietly as he performed during it, with his head down and on a plane back to Miami.

He walks in the door to his condo, shuts the door when his phone chimes a FaceTime request. Just what he needed after a bad day, his dad. Because he knows the abuse will be worse if he puts it off, he answers the call.

“Alexander Alexandrovich, you better have an explanation for that performance! I expect all of my children to perform at the top of their ability all… the.. TIME. Now the Wild have decided they don’t want you. What are you going to do now? Stay unemployed and gloat with a freezer full of Ben and Jerry’s?”

Alex listens to the verbal tongue lashing, even virtual it sucks.

“Alexander, are you listening to me? Fucking hell son, talk or I’m coming over,” his dad cuts off the call. 

“Fuck.” Alex curses as he pads over to the kitchen to grab one of his painkillers the team gave him and washes it down with a swig of water. He hopes that the buzz will numb him to his dad’s lashing. This is the point where he’s going to need to grow a pair. 

The key turns in the door and through it marches his dad, his mother and his sister.

“Alexander Alexandrovich, I do not appreciate being ignored like that. Do you hear me boy, I want some answers and you better be prepared with them.”

Alex swallows hard. The volume of his voice rises, “Why can’t I be enough?”

Alex Sr.’s face turns red with anger in response to his son’s own ferocity. “Do you realize how much fucking money we spent getting your ass to the show? Thousands upon fucking thousands of dollars.”

Alex can feel his face flush, he’s sure he’s beet red with anger. It all comes to a boil. “And you’ve spent just as much on that fucking business of yours. And it isn’t just my money, it’s Anna’s earnings too. You know what, fuck you dad. I’m sick of dealing with your abuse. I’m done with hockey, my career is over. The Wild made that abundantly clear. I’m fucking leaving and you can’t stop me. Did it ever occur to you that I didn’t want this in the first place?”

His dad looks him in the eye, “If you leave, don’t expect me to be here to clean up your shit when you get back.”

Anna and his mom stand in the background stone cold silence, way to step it up there. He turns to them, “What would you do if I left and didn’t come back? Would you miss me at all?”

More silence from his family as the last of his anger echoes through the room.

“Didn’t think so,” Alex growls as he storms past his dad and rushes into his bedroom. He hastily packs a majority of his wardrobe and he removes the key to the Miami condo he currently occupies.

“I’m not coming back, fucking sell it,” Alex spits, slamming the key in his dad’s hand, “make sure the money lands in my account.”

##

Alex is so eager to get as much distance away from his dad, he actually takes public transport to Miami International Airport rather than ordering a car. He has an idea on where to go, he just isn’t sure if Brendan will still want to take his sorry ass back.

The train stops outside the airport, Alex steps out, and heads toward the international terminal. He hops from counter to counter trying his hardest to find a flight to Vancouver.

“I’m sorry, sir. All of our connecting flights to Vancouver are booked solid,” he’s told by Delta, United, Air Canada, American, and even fucking WestJet.

Frustrated and feeling hollow at his loss for a destination, he walks out of the international terminal and marches his ass to the domestic airlines. He books a pair of flights that would get him to Seattle via Denver on Southwest. He can’t even fucking score first class right now.

As he waits by the gate, he opens his laptop and opens a video call to Brendan. 

Brendan’s warm smile melts Alex’s stone cold heart a little. “Hey, Chucky, what’s going on? You’re a little redder than usual.”

“Only get this mad, when someone forgets my birthday,” Alex murmurs teeth clenched.

“Chucky, you’re also looking scarier than normal, what’s going on?” Brendan’s face turns from the cheerful smile to a more serious

“I’m on my way to Vancouver. I’m in desperate need of a hug,” Alex confesses.

“Just a hug or…” Brendan prompts.

Alex lets out a huff of air. "Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I confessed my love to all those years ago."

“Right, so when do you get here, Alex?”

Alex looks down at his ticket. “I get into Seattle at 7pm.”

Brendan’s face straightens out. “Seriously, Seattle? Did you forget there’s an airport in Vancouver?”

Alex goes into a long rant about how he couldn’t get a flight to Vancouver and ended up on Southwest to Seattle. Brendan laughs uncontrollably at Alex’s pain.

Brendan smiles when Alex finishes his rant. “God you are so hot when you’re mad.”

Alex’s phone flashes on with a text from his sister in full view of Brendan. The background picture is Brendan holding the torch in Bell Centre on opening night of the 2015 season.

Brendan grins slyly, “Am I seriously your lock screen?”

Alex quickly shuts the screen off cursing, “Oh shit, you weren’t supposed to see that.” The phone lights up a second time to remind Alex of the message that needs his attention, he grumbles.

“It’s cute,” Brendan grins.

Alex scrubs his hand with his face, “I guess I never stopped thinking about you.”

“Is everything okay Alex?”

"If you ask me if I’m okay again, I’m going to smack myself in the face just to punish you. Seriously though, I’ll explain when I get to Seattle and you pick me up from the airport,” Alex relents.

“Southwest flight 4509 now boarding at gate B29,” a disembodied voice announces.

Alex looks at Brendan’s face on the laptop. “Gotta run, they just called my flight.”

“K babe, see you soon. Get one of those $5 drinks so you’re less grumpy when you get here.” Alex scowls, and it makes Brendan giggle. “On second thought, make it two,” Brendan teases before hanging up on the call.

Alex closes the lid to his laptop and gets in the boarding line, hoping that all the exit row seats aren’t taken yet.

Once settled on the plane, Alex opens the text from Anna. “Dad is still stunned you stood up to him.”

“Fucking deserved it,” Alex texts back, then shuts off his phone, and will leave it that way until he’s safely inside Brendan’s summer house outside Vancouver. He arches his back in the seat, closes his eyes, and tries to meditate before the safety briefing starts.

As the plane rolls down the runway and soars into the air, the tension in Alex’s neck is finally relieved. He orders a vodka and orange juice and passes out after he chugs the beverage down.

##

Arriving in Seattle, Alex forgot how chilly the air here is compared to Miami. When he left it was well over 80 degrees, now in Seattle, the temperature is a much less balmy 47. He collects his checked bag from the baggage claim and sits outside looking for Brendan’s car.

Brendan pulls up while Alex stands outside shivering. He loads his suitcase and duffel in the back seat of Brendan’s SUV.

“Fuck it’s cold, give me your hoodie,” Alex begs still shivering in the heated vehicle.

“You’ve been in my car 30 seconds and you want my clothes?”

“I’d make you drive back to Vancouver naked for every layer of clothing you have on right now,” Alex whines. “Now, sharing is caring. Hand over the hoodie,” Alex coos.

“You’re so beautiful, Alex,” Brendan coos back.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were concussed. Doesn’t matter how many sweet nothings you say to me, I’d feel better with your hoodie on,” Alex banters back.

“Fine,” Brendan complains. He strips himself of the sweatshirt while an airport employee knocks on the window and motions Brendan to relinquish his curbside parking space.

##

Alex follows Brendan into his suburban Vancouver summer home. Alex sheds the sweatshirt when the warmth of the house hits him. He hands it to Brendan. “Thanks,” Alex says softly and gives Brendan a peck on the cheek.

Brendan blushes, “I missed your grumpy Russian face.”

Alex smiles, “You mean you missed my grumpy  _ American _ face.”

Brendan grins and walks into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Alex rushes in at the sound of a pan hitting the stove, “Fuck that, I’m cooking. At least that way it has a chance of being edible.”

“You know what, let’s fuck our diet plans,” Brendan says flashing his baby blues at Alex. “Grab the chinese takeout menu in the drawer.”

Alex takes two steps from the stove and opens a drawer containing a fist full of take out restaurants. He finds one for the local chinese restaurant and opens it up.

Alex gives Brendan his order, who phones it in, and collapses onto the couch after an entire afternoon of travelling across the country. Brendan takes a seat next to him, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alex rolls his head next to Brendan. “Can I have one night of not thinking about my father?”

They eat dinner catching up with each other, sharing some of the hijinks that went on in the bubble. Brendan laughs at Alex’s rendition of Tyler Seguin seducing Jamie Benn so hard that he spits out a small piece of broccoli.

Once they finish dinner Bredan lays out on the couch and pats at his belly, “Come on you need cuddle time.”

Alex hestates.

Brendan flashes his baby blues again, which melts down Alex’s heart a little further. Brendan sweetens the deal, “You can even hold my hand if you want.”

“I’m rather exhausted, I just want to go to bed if that’s okay. Fighting with my father kinda takes it out of me,” Alex sighs.

”Okay, I’ll meet you up there,” Brendan smiles like he’s looking forward to having Alex in his bed again.

That feeling is only fleeting when Alex gets out of the bathroom, “I’m going to sleep in the guest room just for tonight. I’m just…”

“I know,” Brendan consoles.

Alex shakes his head, “You can’t possibly even begin to know.”

Brendan grabs at Alex’s hand knowing that Alex is hurting inside. He knows that Alex's father has ramped up the abuse after the first trade to Arizona and hasn't let up since. He looks gently at Alex and attempts to be a comforting and loving boyfriend. "Alex, look--"

“Not up for this discussion tonight,” Alex shoots him down quickly.

Alex takes his hand back and starts to walk away. Brendan furrows his eyebrows, “You know what?”

Alex stomps back, “What do I know?”

Brendan shoves a finger into Alex’s beefy chest, “You’re a coward! You hide away this entirely different part to yourself all because you’re afraid that someone might get close to you! You’re afraid that someone might just care about you more than you think you deserve. That isn’t fair. In case you haven’t forgotten,  _ I love you _ . I’ve lived with you. I’ve heard the abuse your dad has dished in your direction. It isn’t fair what he did. It got into your head, and we ended up in a long distance relationship because of it!”

Alex ducks his head, “I’m sorry.”

Brendan’s voice gets bolder, “I didn’t tell you ‘I love you’ because I wanted to hear it back. I didn’t tell you about our past because you’ve forgotten about it. And I don’t need to tell you about the abuse because you just experienced it earlier today. I told you those things because you needed to know that I understand what is going on in your head and because you needed to be reminded of that.”

Alex grabs Brendan’s hand. “Look, let me swim in my own head tonight? I’ll be better in the morning, I promise.”

Brendan lets go of Alex’s hand and bows his head. Alex starts to walk toward the stairs. He turns back around, almost runs into Brendan. Alex grabs Brendan’s hand again. “Look I kissed you earlier, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?”

Brendan laughs and flashes a smile, “You can try again as many times as you like, my love.” Alex closes the distance between them and plants a deep passionate kiss on Brendan’s lips.

##

Alex rolls around in the guest bed he relegated himself to. The fight with his dad is still swimming fresh in his brain like it just happened, not several hours ago. He can’t get out of his own head, he knows he’s fucked up beyond all repair with his family.

He rolls over and hits the power button on his phone, “4:00” it reads. “Fuck!” he curses in a whisper. If he’s going to repair at least one relationship, it better happen in the house he’s currently occupying. He gets out of bed and walks over to the master bedroom.

Brendan stirs, when Alex files in right behind him on the bed. “Alex,” Brendan croaks.

“I just need to cuddle,” Alex whispers.

“You come to my room at…” Brendan looks at his alarm clock, “Fuck, 4 am just to cuddle?”

“Can I?” Alex pleads.

Brendan nestles his body against Alex’s body with a smile on his face, “Cuddle away.”

##

Alex stirs early to his phone ringing loudly in the other room. He hadn’t set an alarm. The phone chimes after it finishes ringing indicating the existence of a voicemail.

He gets out of bed and pads back to the guest room. He tugs on a pair of jeans and saunters downstairs to make some scrambled eggs and toast for himself and Brendan. He plates up the two meals just as Brendan is coming downstairs, and calls his sister back.

“Hi, Alex. I wonder if I can help you now that you think you are done with hockey,” Anna greets softly like nothing happened yesterday.

Alex grumbles. His anger rebuilds, “Why are you pretending like nothing happened yesterday?”

“Brother, I’m trying to help.”

"You can't keep pretending my fight with father didn't happen, because guess what? It did!"

“I own a modelling agency and I could use your help,” Anna says trying to mend the strained relationship.

"I don't need, or want help. What I want is for you to get the fuck out of my life,” Alex growls back, throws the phone on the counter, and storms out of the house.

Brendan lets Alex walk off his anger and picks up Alex’s phone. “Hey, Anna!”

“I figured he’d be with you,” she greets softly.

“He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it,” Brendan comments.

“He’ll get over himself. I’ll just give you some time to show him how to be happy again,” Anna relents. “I have to go, I wanted to call before I had to get going on some work. I also don’t want dad to see I’m calling.”

“Thanks, Anna. I better go find him and cheer him up,” Brendan says before ending the call.

##

Brendan jogs around the neighborhood and finds Alex exactly where he expected him to be, on a park bench a few blocks away, bent over with his face between his hands. The stoic exterior of Alex Galchenyuk is minimized into a burnt out and frustrated man finding himself alone in the world right now. Brendan stares at a distance, looking fondly at the man he still loves even though they broke things off when he was traded to Arizona.

He jogs over to Alex and takes a seat next to him and throws an arm around Alex’s torso. In just one touch, Alex’s pain and frustration becomes Brendan’s burden as well. “Alex, it’s going to be okay.”

“So you’re willing to support your unemployed ex-boyfriend all of the sudden,” Alex grumbles.

Brendan tightens his grip on Alex, “No Alex. I’m going to support the man I never stopped loving. We're going to get through this… together. I have an idea.”

Alex sits up. “Yeah, what’s that?”

“Let’s drive somewhere where our cell phones don’t work and camp out for a week,” Brendan offers.

Alex takes in a deep breath. “Sounds good to me,” he exhales.

Brendan stands up and offers his hand to Alex. “Come Alex, let’s go pack and blow this town.”

Alex takes Brendan’s hand and stands up. He smiles and looks at Brendan softly. “I’m ready to catch up on some lost time.”

##

“Well this is certainly remote,” Alex says looking around at the intersection of dirt roads that leads to Dease Lake. Behind him is a highway motel that features several log cabins and a small strip of rooms.

Brendan walks out of the check-in office and grabs Alex by the shirt, “Come on, let’s go.” Brendan marches Alex toward their cabin for the next week.

The door closes behind them, and Alex is unexpectedly checked into the door by Brendan, who plants a hot wet, sloppy kiss on Alex’s lips. Alex’s dick takes immediate notice of Brendan’s passion and stiffens into an uncomfortable position against the waistband of his boxer briefs.

Brendan breaks the kiss. Alex starts shucking his clothes and announces, “Bed.”

A naked Alex leads Brendan to the king sized bed. He takes a seat and strips off Brendan’s clothing. Brendan’s cock smacks him in the chin when Alex aggressively removes his briefs.

Alex cups Brendan’s balls and slips his cock between his lips. Brendan’s knees go slack, forcing his dick down the back of Alex’s throat. 

“Jesus fuck, Chucky,” Brendan moans. “Been so long,” he pants. “Need,” a moan, “your dick,” another moan, “in me.” Alex releases Brendan’s cock from his mouth and gets up to grab a bottle of lube from his bag.

Alex slicks up his dick, stroking it in a tease. Bredan salivates at the sight of Alex’s large, thick uncut dick shining at him from the slick gel.

Brendan covers Alex’s torso, guiding his partner’s cock between his ass cheeks. Brendan adds a little more lube to Alex’s throbbing erection before sinking down on Alex with reckless abandon.

“Fuck yes,” Brendan gasps. “This is what home feels like to me.”

Alex slams his eyes shut and allows the warmth of Brendan to envelop his senses. This heat feels just like home for him, too. A home he wants forever. Brendan was always his forever ass no matter how many times he’s been traded and no matter how many time zones separated them in the summer.

Balls deep inside, Alex grinds into Brendan’s ass using his dick to open the wanting hole Brendan’s offered.

“So tight, Gally,” Alex moans as he works in the first few thrusts.

“This ass only ever belonged to one man,” Brendan admits. He smiles, “And his cock is right at home in it.”

Alex closes his eyes and lets Brendan give him the ride of his life.

“Fuck, Chucky, I’m so full,” Brendan whines. He hisses as he bobs up and down on Alex’s cock. “Touch me, Alex,” he begs.

Alex runs his hands lightly down Brendan’s taut torso until his fingers touch the base of Brendan’s cock. His fingers brush the shaft lightly to feel the size and girth of Brendan’s throbbing erection. Once he’s felt every inch of Brendan’s cock, Alex wraps his hand around it and starts jacking on it while Brendan continues his ride.

“Can I?” Alex's voice cracks as he pulses his cock. His throat is dry from the heavy breathing in the room. “I need to please you, I want to do the work.”

Alex takes over the thrusting as Bredan stills, enjoying the stimulation Alex is providing. Alex hastens his pace, Brendan closes his eyes and focuses only on the feel of Alex’s hand and Alex’s cock.

“Shit Alex,” Brendan swears. “Fuck me harder, I won’t break!”

Alex’s orgasm builds and he feels his load waiting to explode out of his cock and into Brendan. “Shit, Gally, gonna…” his voice trails off as his cock pulses out the first waves of orgasm into his boyfriend.

"Keep your cock in me as long as you can,” Brendan requests as he takes over jacking off his own cock. His ass squeezes on Brendan’s cock, the final wave of pleasure takes over his brain and his cock explodes onto Alex’s abs.

Brendan bends down and kisses Alex passionately. He breaks the kiss, “So how do you feel now?”

Alex smiles, “Like I never left in the first place. Will you have me back?”

“One request,” Brendan starts. “You make up with Anna, you’ll need her modelling connections now.”

“Let’s get cleaned up, order some takeout and talk about it,” Brendan grins.

##

Brendan was away training today, and Alex needed the day to figure out his life. Brendan’s voice plays in the back of his head that afternoon,  _ what interests you, Alex?  _ Back home in civilization after a week away in the north, Alex considers his post-hockey career. 

Clothes, shoes, and edgy fashion are the only items that come to mind. His brand isn’t strong enough to start a clothing line, and who’d buy it anyway. He could partner with a shoe company, again he shoots himself down. He thinks about all the times he’s done promos for various things, and the photo shoots and being in front of the camera is where he excelled. Brendan, as it turns out, is right. If he has any hope of moving on, he’ll have to make up with at least his sister.

Alex hovers over his sister’s contact information and takes a deep breath.

“Brother,” Anna answers. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to call.”

Alex smiles briefly at how well his sister understands him, “Could you still use some male models?”

“You have no idea how badly. I just got a big new contract. I’m not sure if you’ll take this project on, but the money is unreal,” Anna hints.

Alex huffs out a chuckle, “Lay it on me.”

“The work is for Calvin Klein,” Anna gives him just a little more.

Alex takes the bait. “I’m listening.”

“They want some underwear models,” Anna finally confesses.

“I’ll make so many men question their sexuality,” Alex laughs out.

Anna smiles and her voice cheers up, “Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“Fuck yeah I’ll do it, send me a contract and it’ll be in your inbox before the sun sets. Just one condition,” Alex chooses to bring up his deal-breaker.

“You want to do the shoot in Montreal?” Anna guesses, but from her tone she must have already been expecting some sort of ultimatum.

Alex nods even though he knows Anna can’t see it, “I want to be with my long-time boyfriend and now I have a chance to do just that.”

“I think I can make that work. I’ll get you a contract and the details,” Anna concludes. Alex completes his call and starts to fix a late lunch since Brendan will be home soon.

##

Alex’s agent calls a few days later while he and Brendan are still in bed, “You aren’t going to believe me when I tell you; I got you a contract with the team you requested.”

“No shit,” Alex curses, “Ottawa bid on me?”

“Mind you, it will be a substantial pay cut,” his agent admits.

Alex sighs, “How bad?”

“One year at $1.1 mil.”

Alex closes his eyes and rubs them with his free hand, “I expected about as much. I have a plan to make up the rest.”

“Sounds like your sister came through with it then.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure you still get your cut of the proceeds. I’m modelling underwear,” Alex confesses.

Alex finishes his call and rolls over, “I’m guessing I’m going to training with you. Oh, and we might want to consider buying a place in neutral territory.”

Brendan scrunches his face in sleepy confusion, “What’s going on?”

“I got a one year deal not too far from here,” Alex says sitting up in bed so he can prop himself up against the headboard.

“Ottawa,” Brendan guesses, “You know it’s only a 2-hour drive? Might be able to cut it down to one with the way you drive.”

Alex kisses Brendan before getting up and tugging on his boxer briefs, “How do I love you again?”

Brendan gets up out of bed, still naked, with his hard dick wagging in front of him. He walks around the bed, grabs Alex’s cock and massages it as he closes the personal space between them, “Because I’m the only one who will ever get you.”

Alex’s cock stiffens uncomfortably in his boxer briefs, he pushes Brendan back on to the mattress. He grabs the lube bottle, coating a couple of fingers to open Brendan up while he tugs his briefs down with his free hand.


End file.
